When I was 12 years old I was definitely a tomboy. My daily outfit consisted of overalls, a backwards hat and the accessory of scraped knees. I was the girl who could keep up with boys; show off to the boys; and most times, beat the boys. At that age, I never remember paying much attention to how I looked to others, especially when it came to my outward appearance, it was of unimportance.
As I started to get older that innocent part of me began to fade and the way l looked became more important. What happened? Honestly, it did not have anything to do with impressing boys or even myself, it was the need to achieve what society considered beautiful. Girl, get that tan skin, whiten up those teeth, tone that booty and on and on....
Makeup was never fully blown for me, but I remember reading everything under the sun about how to cover up a zit or how to make my nose look smaller. To this day, I could probably rattle off random facts of research forever imbedded into my head. By the way, I am now 32 years old. Curse you Glamour magazine.
When I think of all this tired trying I wonder what God thinks of it all. I wonder if I had the opportunity to see Jesus face to face would I try to have the skinniest thighs or the shiniest hair? I would hope not, but truth be told, we do try to put the best version of ourselves out there for the big event or the moment when we are about to meet someone for the first time, it is engraved in our society to be perfection to the world. What if though, God saw me, Lena Kirstin, makeup free, washed clean of perfume and simplistically clothed, would that matter to Him?
The beautiful truth is that He has seen me in all those moments of reality, and I know He continues to love me for me. The purity and freedom that comes with that concept is beyond measure. It leads me to believe that if, especially as women, we can lay down our guards and replace them with the Armor of God we can absolutely look and feel like perfectly crafted creatures handmade by the one and only creator.
When I look at my scarred ankle, my acne marks and the freckle on my upper lip I feel unpolished, but to Jesus, those are beauty marks. He only sees a fresh faced kid who stands before Him daring to be beautiful in all terms and who can still rock a backwards hat.